[BL6 features] Footprints of Love, Frozen in Mongolia: a Couple’s Journey of Love, Solidarity, and Inspiration in Support of Little Cancer Warriors
Explore the personal narratives of Julia and Remus, participants of our most recent run of Beyond Limits (BL6), as they intimately connect with the essence of this charity expedition. Through candid accounts of their trek, you’ll get a glimpse of how Remus reflects on the humbling impact of unexpected cold, while Julia experiences the solidarity of women bonding despite being strangers. I also asked this couple to recall moments from the trek that surprised and inspired one another. Their responses were endearing, revealing the profound understanding and innate care they hold for each other.
This article also delves into the heart of a marriage that has fostered five children. As I penned their story, I couldn't help but feel my own heart warmed by the genuine love and respect they share, leaving me to marvel, "Their children are truly blessed." This article will also offer you insights into how this challenging journey unveiled new facets of growth and mutual appreciation between the couple, illuminating their relationship in a unique light.
Snuggle up in bed for this heartwarming and powerful read that encapsulates coziness, warmth, and sweetness.
Let the journey begin.
How would you describe your partner as a person?
Remus: “Julia is definitely the more personable one; she connects with everyone. She is a goal-getter and she gives her 200% when her mind is set on doing something. She is very logical by nature but has a big heart.”
Here’s Julia.
Julia: “Remus strongly believes in certain principles (e.g. respecting others, doing what’s right). He shows his love and care not by words, but by action. He tends to be the observer in a group setting yet he is always looking out for those who may need help.
He also has a ‘wild’ side, as in, ‘nature’ wild. He’s a big lover of the great outdoors and can get into a “zone” when he’s with his mountains.”
And here’s a shot of Remus (taken in the Himalayas!)
2. If you’re comfortable, could you also share about how you both first met, and how it progressed to become a marriage eventually?
I decided to venture slightly further with my curiosity this time, and I was rewarded.
Here’s their story:
Years ago, a mutual friend dragged Remus along for Julia’s birthday night out. A friendship bloomed between the two, though things were “... not straightforward for a while” given that they were working in the same industry, for competitor companies. Despite everything, Julia and Remus’s fondness for each other deepened, and in their own words, “(l)ove found its way for two individuals who are seemingly different, yet share a strong affection for seeing the world, for family, art, and all 80’s music”.
A photo taken when Remus and Julia were still in the early days of dating!
3. Have you taken trips together before?
If yes, do briefly describe each trip and what you enjoyed most about each one!
“We squeeze in as many trips as possible where work and family permits. Which means we’re on the road a lot thanks to our regional jobs. There are the ‘regular’ spots such as Japan (where the moment we land in Tokyo, we drive out fast to explore onsen towns) and Bali (we’re always in Ubud for its spirituality).
Really special trips would include Turkey or Turkiye (Istanbul, Ephesus, to Cappadocia). A specific medical clearance was required for one of us before the Turkey travel, so being there together was extra special as it powerfully reminded us about life (and the gift of travel). Seeing how different religions there lived together, respecting each other’s traditions was eye-opening. We loved the riot of colors, cuisine, and history there.
Nepal was another highlight, where we delivered school supplies to Dhading (a remote province off the usual tourist tracks). This was our way of contributing what we can, after the catastrophic earthquake in 2015. We saw how families had to live in makeshift sheds next to their homes. We met kids who trek long distances just to attend school. There was a major landslide we encountered and that challenged us to ‘go with the flow’ and adapt to the local situation in our mini-mission.
Along the way, we received kindness and generosity from the locals (e.g an elderly lady who allowed us to stay in her home until a thunderstorm passed). Even with so little, we were warmly welcomed.”
4. What are some fundamental relationship principles or beliefs that you both have established in your relationship?
“We established “what comes first”, with family being one of the top priorities. Things like career, job security, etc. , they all shift with time.
We openly discuss our boundaries with work (not easy for sure, given how work covers multiple time zones and travels), and at times we challenge each other to re-think certain decisions (again, not easy, but who else is in a better position than someone who knows you inside out?).
We honor ‘couple time’, where it’s just the two of us hanging out for dinner at least twice a month. What’s also important for us is that we are happy for each other's successes, we share our concerns. It’s also been fun in recent months when we get a little competitive over health goals.
And lastly, accepting each other’s individualism yet finding ways to either give space or complement.”
5. Why did you choose to take this expedition with Beyond Expeditions?
“‘Too many’ years have passed since our Nepal trip and therefore this BL6 timing felt right. We both love new experiences and we knew that a sense of adventure and “going with the flow” for this Beyond Limits 6 was key.”
Julia: “From reading up, I knew that BL6 would be challenging, and having Remus there with me meant that we could share such a powerful experience together.”
Remus: “Julia signed me up! She put her mind to it, and I turned up!”
6. How do each of you relate to the cause of this edition of Beyond Limits?
Remus: “I am a father of 5 children and I want THE BEST for them. I can’t imagine how the parents of cancer patients cope and how these young patients deal with the illness. It is heartbreaking. It takes a lot of courage, perseverance, and support and this is one way I could help.”
Julia: “I lost my dad to cancer five years ago. Today, I still ask myself what more I could have done for him.
A photo of Julia’s family, taken when Julia’s father was already ill.
Towards the end, it was about keeping him comfortable. Cancer impacts both patient and family. We can sympathise but we never fully know what a cancer patient goes through. And especially as a mom, this BL6 edition’s focus on children with cancer called out to me intuitively.”
7. Name one moment during the trip that stood out most to you, and elaborate on why each of these moments was significant for you.
Remus: “For me, it was the first day of the trek.
I thought I was prepared for the extreme cold but it didn’t turn out as I expected. My nose turned white and then darkened just being out there for 10 minutes doing the warm-up exercises. I had to run back to the ger and put a heat pad on to ‘defrost’ the nose. (Thanks to this incident, all the team members were checking each others’ noses along the way!)
I wore only 2 layers for the trek, a base thermal and a fleece jacket out there in the -43oC, thinking I would generate enough heat as I walked. It did work… though the moment we stopped, the freezing cold hit almost immediately. I wasn’t able to layer up in time as I struggled to open up my day pack with the thick gloves and I got frustrated. My body quickly started to shiver as we got into the van for lunch. I didn’t like the unexpected and not being in control. This reminded me that simple tasks in extreme conditions can be very challenging. And it allowed me to experience part of what cancer patients are going through every day.”
Julia: “It’s hard to pick just a single moment. There were many ‘mini’ moments where the women on this expedition (all strangers to each other) just banded together and helped to look out for each other. Shoo-ing off overly inquisitive reindeer, providing a ‘privacy wall’ since everything is so open, commenting on the stars while shivering in the cold, sharing whatever items we brought etc. I believe we bonded a lot and it’s such a fantastic experience to have women looking out for each other.”
8. Throughout the expedition, what did you observe of your partner that surprised you?
Remus: “I was surprised Julia coped well with the ‘Nature’s Bathroom’ and not showering for 7 days. She was extremely cheerful and positive during the trek. I think the women bonded really well and it helps.”
Julia: “Remus was caught off guard by how extremely cold it was on Day 1 of our trek (our guides all said it was even colder than expected). We had to suddenly stop for a lunch break, which threw off our trekking rhythm (this kept us warm) and also threw us deep into the cold since we did not have our down jackets with us to layer on. He was shivering inside the van. This surprised me as I’ve never seen Remus in this state (he’s always the strong one) and I knew that it bothered him.
What did not surprise me thereafter was how much more prepared he was the next day.”
9. Throughout the expedition, what did you observe of your partner that inspired you?
Remus: “Willingness and adaptation to change. Julia was a ‘City Girl’ when we first met. I would never have imagined her doing a trek like this, or anywhere near willing to get out of her comfort zone to this extent.
She could have simply said “I’ll donate the cash and it’s not necessary to go on such an expedition to raise funds’. But she pushed herself out of her comfort zone especially in the last couple of years, focusing on her fitness, health, and active participation in charity events, and this showed in the way she took on this expedition.
Even her best friends of 40 years noticed the change and I am really proud of her.”
Julia: “Remus is the ‘quiet gentleman’ kind of guy. But he went above and beyond by jumping up every hour to add firewood for 3 nights in a row, especially when he was in a ger/cabin with 6 of us women. This allowed some of us to sleep better.
He was too fast even though we protested and set alarms!
Another example is how even though he trekked the fastest on Day 2 (and how he enjoys just having nature in front of him and setting his own pace), he chose to accompany a fellow participant who had abrasions and blisters. He patiently walked with her at the back, cheering her on to complete the trek.”
10. What was the greatest challenge for each of you on this trip? How did you end up overcoming it?
Remus: “My greatest challenge is not being prepared for the extreme cold on the first day when I thought I was. Subsequently, I knew exactly what to expect, what to do (I had a process in my head), what I needed and when I needed them. All was good after a lesson learnt on Day 1.
I guess we learn better by experience than theory.”
Julia: “During the final day of the trek, my right leg muscle fatigue and the cold was starting to really get to me. I got very quiet (Remus noticed this and did what a loving husband would do, he trekked right behind me).
This is the part where while, yes, ‘mind over matter’ comes in, I had mini conversations in my head with my dad. He was a man of few words, so it was more visualising him being in a comfortable place. I believe this helped. It helped me to look up/around, and to enjoy the sheer beauty of the plains we were in.”
11. What is one message you are taking away from this expedition, that would be most applicable in your own life?
Remus: “I was caught by surprise on Day 1. Didn’t like it. I fixed it by focusing on what I needed to do. I was so focused on overcoming my own challenge and conquering it on Day 2 that I neglected the rest.
I was 100% self-focused, got into my ‘zone’, walked way ahead of the group, and created a gap. The crew had to pick up some of the team members in the van and move them in front of me. That was the moment that snapped me out of my zone and I realised that this trip is not about myself but for a different purpose. I then walked to the back of the group and had the opportunity to encourage and cheer a fellow team member to push on.
This expedition is an important reminder for me in all aspects. We tend to focus on our goals, our objectives, our aspirations, our ourselves so much that we could end up overlooking our surroundings and people, spouses, family, friends, colleagues, and others who are less fortunate.”
Julia: “Live Life!
The BL6 expedition taught me to relook at what are truly considered necessities. We made do with the core basics out in Taiga, we relied on others to allow us to stay in their gers or log cabins. I was always happy when a bowl of delicious soup was served, grateful that chopped wood was regularly provided during the nights. I was especially in awe of how our local drivers could navigate with no connection, no lights, just a GPS in their heads. I realise it isn’t about coming up with yet another new year’s resolution (since 2024 is coming up on us), but it should be about re-appreciating what I have in life, and what I can do to give back more.”
This article is a trove of emotions.
Witnessing Remus and Julia’s journey through their BL6 experience tugged my heart in several directions. Their commitment to one another and their relentless pursuit of personal growth are profoundly inspiring; I’m deeply moved by the way they opened themselves to a deeper self-awareness and understanding of each other in this expedition, and fascinated to see how their shared life choices resonated powerfully in how they individually experienced this remarkable journey together.
I hope you sit with this article for a while longer, and allow yourself to think about how this couple’s experience has moved you too. Which parts of the article did you find yourself most connected with, and what does it tell you about you?
When was the last time you placed yourself in a new situation like how Julia and Remus took on BL6, where you experienced such opportunities for growth and insight?
If you do find yourself interested in knowing more about Beyond Limits, head to this page to read all about our previous runs. You’ll also find information about our upcoming run, BL7. Maybe we’ll see you there.
If you are keen to connect with more inspiring stories of travellers who have chosen to take on Beyond Limits with us, here are some other interview pieces I’ve done that I believe you will enjoy reading too.
This is a feature of Jimmy from BL5; he’s an AnE doctor working in Changi General Hospital, and specialising in disaster medicine. An introspective man, with a great appreciation for the wonders of nature.
Here’s another feature of Zoe, a rectal cancer survivor who chose to join us on the 4th edition of our Beyond Limits charity expeditions. Chirpy, bubbly, optimistic, and amazingly resilient and open-minded; Zoe’s story and expedition experience will shake your heart.
There are other features of participants from BL4 and BL5 too, and I’ll list them here for your ease.
Have a good read, and maybe I’ll see you soon for an interview too.
Article written by: Valerie
Valerie, a freelance writer with a quirky infatuation with steamed buns and slightly bizarre food combinations.
(“Try soft-boiled eggs and hot milo!”)
She wishes to keep writing stories that bypass typical food reviews and appreciation of scenery, stories that inspire readers to pursue curious conversations about the unique cultures and lifestyles of every country.
