[BL6 Features] Trekking for children cancer warriors in Mongolia: A daughter who’s been there for everyone, now finds joy in choosing herself too
“This is one very special woman.” I thought to myself as I worked on this article feature.
And you will soon come to understand why.
Jiaying is a participant in one of our most recent charity expeditions, Beyond Limits 6, and also caregiver for two of her loved ones (cancer patients). She flew to frosty Taiga, looking to support our cause for young cancer patients, but left with a heart full of inspiration, appreciation, a deep fondness for her team, and a deeper, loving connection with her mother who she was also caring for, before her succumbing to cancer.
I invite you to open your heart to who Jiaying is as a person and what she has to say; I promise you that her interview here will touch your heart in one way or more.
Before we proceed with the rest of the article, here’s Jiaying sharing with us how it’s been like for her, being a caregiver for three of her loved ones.
Jiaying: “Being a caregiver for 3 of my closest loved ones (my mother, father, and grandmother), each one of them battling cancer, is both challenging and deeply rewarding. My typical day involves juggling work commitments, accompanying my family members to doctor's appointments, treatments, or bedside visits, and helping them with their daily tasks.
There was this one funny incident in hospital, where I accompanied both my mother and father to their appointments that were scheduled at the same time in the same hospital, but with different doctors. The nurses were confused, unsure who I was there for as I was jumping between both doctors. It was an ‘epic’ moment, one where I couldn’t help but laugh at the situation.
Navigating the caregiver role while balancing work and family responsibilities is physically, mentally, and emotionally draining. The constant cycle of caregiving, coupled with work demands, leaves me exhausted. Each hospital visit takes a toll, especially witnessing their deteriorating condition. Despite feeling stretched thin, I do whatever it takes to make their journey more comfortable, whether it's offering physical assistance or simply being there. Sometimes, I struggle to provide optimal care for my loved ones and perform at my best in the workplace.
Losing my mother to cancer has instilled in me a deep fear of how my father and grandmother will cope without her. There are moments when I question if I'm doing enough or if I could offer more support to my family. Despite the challenges, I strive to be there for them, providing comfort and assistance in any way I can, even when it feels like an uphill battle. Watching them endure treatments and face the uncertainties of illness is heart-wrenching. However, I remind myself that it's a privilege to care for those who mean the world to me, and I cherish every opportunity to offer love and support.”
Who is one person who knows you very well? How would they describe you as a person?
Jiaying: “One person who knows me better than myself is my sister, so I shall leave this to her to answer.”
I was surprised and excited by the involvement of her sibling, and her sister’s description of her came with such a beautiful, deep understanding of Jiaying.
“Jiaying is like the North Star in our family, the go-to person for everything. It's as if she has this magical ability to solve any problem, and tackle any challenge. Her reliability is unwavering, as she always puts others before herself. She's the anchor we all depend on, always responsible and resourceful. Seriously, everyone looks for her for everything and anything.
What sets her apart is the cheerful energy she brings to everything. Whether it's a daunting task or a casual get-together, she will always say “can, okay” and then get it done. She effortlessly goes with the flow, getting things sorted, making every moment enjoyable. I know she’s the one we can count on to take charge and ensure everything runs smoothly.
In a world that often feels chaotic, having her around is like having a steady hand guiding us through. She's not just family; she's the pillar of support, the one who makes everything seem a little brighter and a lot more manageable.”
I did not know anything about Jiaying, and these words by her sister moved me deeply. When Jiaying then proceeded to describe herself, I felt such a strong alignment with the girl her sister just described.
There’s this steady, grounding energy in who she is.
“In my world, I often feel like an octopus with eight legs, each one entangled in a different world of work, family, friends, and hobbies. Caring for loved ones, trying to perform well at work, spending time with friends and family – all in all, balancing life’s priorities is not an easy thing. It's challenging, and there will be moments of uncertainty and wondering how we will be able to overcome all of this… but amidst the chaos, I've learned to discover joy in the simplicity of a busy life.
I enjoy the outdoors and nature - be it the mountains or enjoying the waves in the sea. Being in nature helps me to calm down, and process my thoughts and I believe I will be able to navigate challenges with calmness. Being able to help and resolve problems also helps me to elevate my well-being but also enhances my ability to support those around me.”
2. When it comes to travel (prior to BL6), how are you like as a traveller?
When it comes to travel, turns out Jiaying is rather different depending on who she travels with. “When I travel with my family, their comfort and experience is most important. So, l look into every detail in the journey - from getting from one place to another, selecting food, ensuring the accommodation is suitable for my nieces and the older folks who are my parents.
I will do everything I can to ensure they are comfortable and enjoying themselves. While many parents will carry their luggage for the kids, I would not let my parents carry their luggage, I want them to enjoy the holiday and relax.”
When it comes to travelling with friends, the priority for Jiaying shifts from comfort to company. “I’m extremely easy-going and spontaneous; I go with the flow, am open-minded, and supportive of any plans and ideas they would like! This year, I went on a few hiking and diving trips with my friends, and it was a great time.”
Jiaying relaxes a lot more during solo adventures. “Solo travels give me more flexibility too. When things don’t go as planned, it’s part of the experience and I can easily change my plan and explore other things. I don’t have to be stressed about anything as it’s my journey of growth and exploration.
Travelling solo may be boring sometimes, but it's all about finding a balance between planning for my goals and immersing myself in the unexpected, creating a solo adventure that is both purposeful and enjoyable.”
Here’s are some photos of Jiaying on our recent BL6 expedition back in December, 2023.
3. What matters most to you when it comes to travel?
Jiaying isn’t a big fan of the usual tourist travelling style. “I don’t enjoy visiting famous tourist spots, I’m also not a big fan of going with the crowd or doing touristy things and unlike many Singaporeans, shopping and buying things isn’t really my cup of tea.
To me, travelling is about finding joy in the journey, discovering new things, and appreciating simple moments, whether in well-known places or not-so-popular ones. My travel plans are always a mix of various things that make the experience unique, fun, and diverse. I love mixing in local experiences, hiking adventures, trying out different foods, exploring new places, and diving into unique cultures.
I find that the true essence of travel lies in the experiences and connections made along the way, rather than acquiring material possessions. What matters most isn't about checking the lists of touristy places, but exploring new places, food and creating memories with friends and family are aspects I value in travel.”
4. Why BL6?
“Cancer has touched every aspect of my life - both my parents and my grandmother have been affected by this relentless illness. Through their battles, I have seen what real strength and resilience truly look like in the face of adversity. This year (2023), I lost my mother after her 20-year battle with cancer. Her strength and unwavering care have left an everlasting impression on me. She remains the strongest and most caring person I have ever known, continuously inspiring me to strive for the best version of myself.
Losing the closest and most important person in my life to cancer was undoubtedly one of the most devastating experiences I have ever faced. However, her strength and resilience continue to inspire me every day. I am immensely proud of her and all the cancer patients for all their courage. For myself, this has left an undeniable sense of loss, and I miss her beyond words can describe but I find solace in cherishing the beautiful memories we shared together – the laughter, the tears, the good times, and the tough times.
This expedition helped me honor the memory of my mother, and also presented me an opportunity to step out of my comfort zone and challenge myself to do something extraordinary. Through this expedition, I hope to regain a sense of purpose and find strength even in the face of loss and adversity. Having witnessed firsthand the challenges of living with cancer, I understand that it is an incredibly difficult journey that will never be easy.
The toll it takes, both physically and emotionally, on the patients and their caregivers is immense. Thus, I hope that through this charity expedition for the Children Cancer Foundation (BL6), we can help gain more awareness for patients battling their illness and raise funds to improve the quality of life of children fighting cancer and their families.
As I honor the memory of my mother, I also wish to extend the same support and kindness that she showed me and others throughout her battle to the expedition, creating unforgettable memories and push ourselves beyond our limits!”
5. Could you share what you found most inspiring from this entire expedition experience?
“After completing the trek in Taiga, we sat down together and shared our thoughts of what went through our minds during the trek. While we all had different motivations for why we are here, all 19 of us share the same connection - all touched by cancer in one way or another. While exchanging our thoughts, I got inspired by all their life journeys, experiences, and passions.
We, a small group of strangers, united with a shared purpose of bringing hope to our young, brave cancer warriors. Enduring 10 days in the rugged terrains and challenging trek across icy plains in minus 43 degree celsius – this was just a metaphor for the arduous journey that the children battling with cancer go through. But more importantly, each of us had our struggles and background. This silent battle inspired us to go beyond our physical and mental limits and has also pushed each other on without spoken words.
Throughout this journey, it was heartwarming to see how everyone cared for one another. This experience has instilled in me a deeper appreciation for the impact of support and kindness. While we may never fully comprehend someone else's struggles, we possess the power to make their day better through empathy and simple gestures.
I came into BL6 hoping to inspire others to face their battles with courage and to raise awareness and funds for the Children cancer foundation. Yet beyond that, I was inspired by each member of the expedition team, all carrying a unique story and background. We became more than 19 strangers and individuals enduring the trek; we formed a collective bond filled with resilience, hope and strength built from the adversity we've been through.
The expedition brought me together with like-minded individuals to connect, share experiences, and offer support to those navigating similar journeys. Imagine the impact each of us can create to others to let them know that they are not alone, they are loved and valued too.”
6. What was the greatest challenge for you on this trip? How did you end up overcoming it?
“The greatest challenge I faced on this trip was navigating the expedition with the weight of personal emotions.
Losing my mom left me feeling adrift. I'd lost a part of myself, and my life became a blurry journey. Part of me was detached from my true self, a feeling of not being myself and I struggled to find clarity. Amidst this, the expedition coincided with my father’s and grandmother's ongoing battle with cancer, their lives revolving around hospital visits, medical scans, surgeries; a painful routine. The inability to be physically there for them weighs heavily on me, and the constant worry about how they are… these all left me wondering if I was not doing enough for them.
Overcoming this required me to accept that my own emotions and experiences are valuable and consciously decide to be kind to myself. There’s a need for self-care amidst the stress and chaos, after all. I told myself to breathe, free my mind, and allow myself to truly embrace and be in the present moment. While it might feel selfish, I understood the importance of restoring my well-being so that I can continue being a source of support for the family.”
7. Do share with me three moments from the expedition that felt most meaningful to you. Elaborate why for each one!
(1) Learning to be more grateful for what we have and what we can.
Living in Singapore with immense stress of financial success, it’s so easy to associate happiness with material wealth and be caught in the rat race. But when I look at the lifestyle of the nomadic families we stayed with, I ask myself, “What does it take to be happy?”
Living with the locals, it struck me that the lives of the Mongolian people are filled with resilience and warmth. I witnessed the spirit of generosity, care and hospitality. We saw first hand how the nomads there survive with limited resources in such harsh weather, and yet they opened their homes and hearts to us. Even though we are not able to converse in the same language, they took care of us through simple acts like ensuring we had wood for fire, checking our battery powered lights, and ensuring everything was well. Despite the challenges of living in harsh weather conditions and limited resources, their resilient spirits in face of challenges teaches me to embrace changes and find contentment in the basics. Experiencing the traditional Mongolian life, I discovered that we do not need much to have happiness and I have learnt to appreciate life’s simplicity and find joy in small moments. This journey is a reminder that – genuine happiness often resides in human connections and embrace of life’s uncomplicated pleasure.
Not just material wealth, the expedition has also made me more appreciative of who we have and what we can do. During the trek, I can’t help but be reminded of my mother. I wished with all my heart that she was there with me. And I'm sure she would have loved to go on an adventure like Beyond Limits.
Being healthy is a gift we often overlook. The ability to wake up everyday, take a breath, move freely, enjoy our favourite food, to see and hear the laughter of people around us, and to experience what life has to offer is such a privilege. Having witnessed my loved ones struggle and fought hard with illness, gradually lose their ability to do even basic things… I am reminded never to take for granted the seemingly ‘small’ things I can do.
(2) Be humble and empathetic
While the 3-day trek in the cold of Taiga was tough and challenging so as to parallel the arduous journey of children battling with cancer, we all acknowledged that what we went through is incomparable to the pain, uncertainties, and helplessness these brave young souls embrace.
The physical, emotional, and psychological toll that cancer inflicts upon individuals and their loved ones is something that can never be measured. Similarly, we will never fully understand what others are going through… but a little support and kindness from everyone can go a long way in brightening up someone’s day.
It doesn’t take a lot to extend your hand, lend an ear, or offer kind words whenever you can. After all, we are each fighting our own battles and trying to keep going. In a world that often feels tough and unforgiving, a little bit of kindness and empathy can be like a lifeboat in a stormy sea, it's like a lifeline we all need at times.
(3) Value of perspective - Being positive and appreciating every moment
On the first day of arrival, I found myself questioning myself when I walked out of the airport facing the icy cold plains in minus 43 degrees Celsius. “Jiaying, what are you doing?”
After boarding the van,we travelled to a guest house off the city 500km away for almost 10 hours. Along the way, my mind kept going “What did I sign up for? How am I going to survive this?” I kept telling myself to stay calm, that everything was going to work out, but all I saw ahead of me was an endless piece of icy cold plains.
Even as a generally positive person, I couldn’t help but have negative thoughts in my mind. In those beginning moments of the expedition, I missed home, I missed the warm weather, and I missed my family. Staring out of the window, it didn’t take me long to begin changing my perspective. The view of the icy plains, and the beautiful scenery; I found myself admiring it all. Every time I looked out of the window, I felt refreshed and calm; it’s just breathtaking.
Those moments taught me that it’s all about how I think and view things. I stopped feeding my mind negative thoughts and started enjoying this journey. Nature became a source of mindfulness and appreciation, reflecting on life where I uncovered the value of perspectives. We can’t control everything, but we can control our mindset, our thoughts, and actions. Shift our focus from negativity and appreciate the positive aspect of life, and keep going no matter how hard things may get.
The most important thing is to give your best, no matter how big or small it seems.”
8. How has this expedition experience changed you as a person?
“Would not say it changed me as a person… but I definitely changed in terms of my perspectives.
Truly discovering that there’s a whole other world out there
Rethinking what I want out of life - what makes me happy?
Discovered that we do not need much to have happiness and I have learnt to appreciate life’s simplicity and find joy in small moments.
Allowed myself to find clarity and restore my well-being
Saw the true power of positivity, humbleness, and kindness
Knowing the value of being there for someone else
Always be grateful for what I have, who I have, what I can do
Knowing that I'm not alone and nobody is
Even when things are tough, keep going. Being brave and being afraid often occurs at the same time”
9. Who would you recommend to come onboard the subsequent Beyond Limits expeditions? Why?
Similarly, who would you recommend NOT to come for these expeditions, and why?
“I wholeheartedly recommend the Beyond Limits Charity Expedition to everyone - not just those looking for physical challenges but also personal growth. It's an opportunity to contribute to a cause that truly matters, where every step becomes a part of something greater than oneself. This expedition is not just an adventure; it's a transformative experience that I'm grateful to have been a part of.
There is no one that I would NOT recommend to. Even if you think that you are not suitable, not fit, not good enough because you are stronger and more capable than you think and you can do it. We often regret what we didn't do much more than what we did. Choose courage over comfort.
If you think of joining this expedition, just do it. This is your life - do everything you’ve thought of wanting to do.”
What’s something you’ve thought of doing, but haven’t taken the step towards actually doing it?
What’s the fear holding you back?
And what’s a different belief you can choose to hold onto, that will support you to conquer your fear and do it?
I hope you don’t wait when it comes to choosing yourself and what you want.
If your interest now lies in coming onboard our next charity expedition for a transformational experience like what Jiaying has had, here’s where you can read about our next trek in support of women with breast cancer.
And if you are keen to connect with other travellers who have returned from our trips with meaningful insights and memories to keep for a lifetime, I’m attaching some links to previous interview features we have done.
This is a feature of Roderick from BL5; he’s a hardy 26-year-old spinal cord injury survivor who turned his own life around with a strong will and a strong support system.
Here’s another feature of Zoe, a rectal cancer survivor who chose to join us on the 4th edition of our Beyond Limits charity expeditions. Chirpy, bubbly, optimistic, and amazingly resilient and open-minded; Zoe’s story and expedition experience will shake your heart.
And here’s a 2-part article feature of four female travellers (read the first article here, followed by the second here), each having their own significant breakthrough after embarking on one of our commercial outbound expeditions.
Have a good time letting your heart and soul connect with these stories, and maybe I’ll get to hear yours soon too.
Article written by: Valerie
Valerie, a freelance writer with a quirky infatuation with steamed buns and slightly bizarre food combinations.
(“Try soft-boiled eggs and hot milo!”)
She wishes to keep writing stories that bypass typical food reviews and appreciation of scenery, stories that inspire readers to pursue curious conversations about the unique cultures and lifestyles of every country.
